It’s been three months now since I’ve been unemployed, and I’ve fallen into strange habits, a new pattern of day-to-day living.
On bad days, I’m down and dejected with no hope of finding a job. I wallow, hole up in my apartment, and eat poorly.
On good days, I spin Regina Spektor albums and work at home, breeze and sunshine trailing in from my open window. At night, as my writing wraps up, I light some incense and unwind with a nightcap and cigarette.
You might say I’m “living the life,” working so comfortably and not (yet) worrying about money. But it’s more like I’ve found a way to enjoy hermit life, because I can’t afford to go out and spend.
So the fun I have in my head, the drinks I enjoy by myself. Making playlists for solitary work and imaginary parties has become my new hobby. Sometimes I procrastinate and dance by myself.
I still see friends, but I ration it to cut back on spending, limiting most of my socialization to work meetings and the occasional visit to the academy (there’s nothing quite like seeing the kids you used to teach).
On good days, I’m happy, feeling fortunate to have work, work that pays, and looking forward to the next time I’ll see my friends. Because I appreciate it so much more now when I can spend quality time with them.
And on that note, I’m off to a crew gathering. Tonight, it’s my favorite — Chinese hot pot — and post-dinner board games.
Wishing everyone a happy weekend —